Monday, December 12, 2022

It's a Kentucky kind of Christmas

    I'm doin' it. Gettin' 'er done. Writing the ol' Christmas blog. This time, though, I am sitting in a coffee shop in FLORENCE KENTUCKY. Weird. 
    
    A couple of months ago, we loaded up our 5 children, 3 canines, and 5 rabbits (ALMOST took a chicken too) into our Nissan NV, and pulled our trailer to our new home in Union, KY. The whole journey has been quite an undertaking, to say the least. It's difficult to truly wrap our heads around our new identities as Kentuckins. I guess the correct term for KY dwellers is actually "KentuckiAns", but I much prefer Eiley's version of the word, so we'll stick with "Kentuckins" for now...or "tuckins" if we're feeling less ambitious. 




    The decision to relocate our family did not come without heartache and presented its fair share of challenges and bumps in the road, but we are here, and we are relieved to have the physical journey behind us. As you can probably imagine, 5 kids, 3 dogs and 5 rabbits make a cross country journey rather...preposterous. Also, smelly. 

    WHY KENTUCKY?!? If I had a dime for every time we were asked this question...I'd put it all towards the tuition needed to send our kids to the new "Answers Academy" (https://answersacademy.org/) here, in Northern KY. "Answers Academy" (formerly "12 Stones Christian Academy") is one major reason we were drawn to the particular location we are in. For years now, we have intended to homeschool our kids for as long as I felt able, but this last summer, after our time visiting with the school and witnessing the enthusiastic passion for Biblical truth that seems to seep into every crevice of the students' learning experience....we were stoked. Our experiences visiting the Creation Museum and Ark Encounter have lit a metaphorical fire under our rears to IMMERSE ourselves and our children in the TRUTH of God's Word with more vigor and increased urgency. This life is SHORT ya'll...and we want to do our BEST to live for the one who granted us life in the first place. Brett and I both felt immense peace about our decision to uproot our lives in Washington state for the sole reason of providing our children with the experiences this place offers them. Not only will we have the opportunity, Lord willing, to send our children to a school that seems to go above and beyond all of our loftiest dreams in regards to arming our children with truth and answers in preparation for this absolutely bonkers world, the Answers ministry also provides a flood (see what I did there?๐Ÿ˜†) of educational workshops/seminars/conferences/employment opportunities for kids and adults alike that we all look forward to participating in. 

    
    Although the Answers ministry COULD be our only reason for moving, we have many more. We are currently a mere EIGHT hours from Johns Hopkins hospital. Most of you are well aware of the fact that for 12 years now, we have been making the trip, by car/motorhome/rental vehicle/trailer/hitch hiking(kidding) from WA to MD to see Emri's team of docs at Hopkins. Emri has had multiple spine/lung surgeries at Hopkins and will most likely need a heart operation in the future as well. WHAT a relief it is, to know that Emri's cardiologist, pulmonologist, ophthalmologist, orthopedist, and other experienced marfan professionals are so near. We will still be getting to know specialists at Cincy Children's to make sure they are familiar with her in the case of an emergency, but we are thrilled to be so close to the place that knows Emri's body best. 

    Aside from the two reasons stated above, and without getting too uptight/exasperated/irate/livid...I will say that Washington state has done an exceptional job of overstepping its boundaries in a wide variety of ways...particularly during covid. It is not an exaggeration to say that we no longer felt safe, free or welcome in our own state. I applaud you, WA, for fully mutilating the beautiful place we have called home for so many marvelous years. I commend you for sucking up and spitting out so many people who wanted to remain "home"...safe and free. Well shoot, I wasn't going to get emotional. 

    It would be a lie to say that there have not been tears shed and heads hung as we look back and see what we are leaving behind...most of our very dearest and warmest life moments and closest friendships have taken place nestled in the ever-green, mountainous, beauty/rain drenched regions of the PNW...and it IS absolutely heartbreaking to leave it all behind. We most definitely left pieces of ourselves in the state we have known and loved for so long and are still grieving the loss of a wonderful, wonderful church community and time with our precious blood family as well...but God has drawn us out and gently lead us on a new journey to a new land and we feel contentment and peace. Thank you, Lord. 

    Despite enduring all of the viruses KY has to offer in the first two months of living here, we are faring relatively well and really just reveling in all of the newness and soaking in all of the firsts. It's strange to know that Eiley and Boaz will never remember Washington. The older kids had me take lots of pictures of funny things they wanted to remember in WA...including roundabouts, Dairy Queen, road signs, a tree shaped like a dragon, etc...so I will be making a picture book for them to look at when they need a refresher of what their favorite roundabout looked like. You'll be happy to know, we've got a few pretty epic roundabouts quite near our new house as well...so yay. 
    
    We were immensely blessed by a month of help from Brett's parents as we moved into our new home. Bunk beds were built, leaves were raked and then raked again, spaces were organized, boxes unpacked, and kids were entertained! Yay for grandparents! The morning Brett's parents left, my parents showed up and surprised me! Although their stay was short, we packed it all in! So much organizing/cleaning/unpacking, the flu...in just a few days' time. THANK YOU to our dear parents for the time and effort, blood and sweat, tears and laughs. 

    Besides covering the whole "move across the country" shindig, I thought maybe I should do a little kid coverage...it's been a bit. 
Emri has had a heart check already in Cincy and her heart remains somewhat stable...valves are still moderately leaky, but her aorta HAS grown over the past year. We have sent everything off to Dr. Dietz and wait to hear how he feels on the matter because we still like him the best๐Ÿ˜. Everything else in Emri's body seems to be somewhat cooperative. She can walk about the equivalent of once around a grocery store before needing her chair. Her sight continues to AMAZE me every day---she sees all of the birds, bugs and dirty windows! We now live 8 hours from a competent surgeon able to successfully lengthen her spinal rods 2-3 times a year (that wasn't a luxury we enjoyed in WA). Emri continues to show so much courage in the face of adversity...it sometimes puts me to shame. School comes easy for Emri and she follows in her fathers footsteps when it comes to math and drawing capabilities! She loves art, socializing (don't know where THAT came from), her sweet puppy-in-training, "Doc", playing with her sibs, and teriyaki chicken. Prayer requests for Emri are:

-Healing for her heart--God can do anything!
-WEIGHT GAIN--we are still around 50 lbs at 12 years old
-relief from and endurance during viral illnesses
    
    Abe. Oh Abe. We love him. Abe is our budding creation scientist and dinosaur connoisseur. Ask him anything dino related and you'll get all the facts and then some. He is a passionate and empathetic child and is a true and unashamed witness for the Lord and Biblical truth. His passion continually inspires me. He adores his siblings and is living in dreamland having unlimited access to all things Creation Museum/Ark. Abe enjoys school, writing funny stories, drawing/writing about dinosaurs, playing with the sibs, animals, witnessing to Eiley (he reads her Bible to her often), and anything outdoors. Quick, "funny" Abe story. Abe found one of our rabbits out of his pen before we left for KY. He told me he "just put it in with the brown one". The one he found was a male and "the brown one" was a female. We now have two really adorable, yet completely unintentional baby lops that we now have to try to find homes for in Kentucky in the middle of January...woohoo!! If any of our new KY friends are reading this...YOU WANT A RABBIT?!??

    Jaemin has been a Van Andel now for 7 years. It's hard to believe we ever had a Jaemin-less life. This kid is what I believe they refer to as a "firecracker"! I've tried to offer him money for a small fraction of his energy, but that transaction never occurred and he kept it ALL. He's the life of the party and enjoys every second of it. He too, enjoys all things dinosaurs, legendary wrestling matches with Brett and Abe (AND EILEY TOO), anything involving physical movement, and mom hugs. He's a brilliant student, but doesn't like the whole "sitting still" thing that school so often involves. He's a very sweet natured kid at heart, recently proven true by how many times he profusely thanked the dentist for pulling out a tooth that was giving him issues. 

    Where oh where to start with Eiley?!?? She's hilarious. She's always been hilarious. Pretty confident we knew she would be class clown already by month two. She doesn't allow the fact that she is 6 years behind the older kids stop her from being heavily involved in most aspects of their lives. "AND EILEY TOO", is an ever-present phrase in our home. To see that girl dive without hesitation into an all-boy wrestling pit, hair flying high and confidence unhindered...it's amusing for sure. Her strong will and lionhearted zest for life hold potential to be a passionate and bold witness for Christ, which is what I pray for her. 

    Our sweet Boaz. What would we do without Bo? Well, to be honest, we would probably sleep a little more๐Ÿ˜†! Our littlest man turned ONE already on November 21. Do NOT ask me how he is already one...I legitimately don't understand how it happened this fast. He's not quite walking, but doing his one-legged scoot like a boss and has begrudgingly popped 8.5 teeth already (he doesn't love it). I was hoping his tooth popping ambition might carry over to growing some hair on his head by now, but alas, I still have his nice, round, BALD head to rub and kiss if I'm needing a little stress relief. Boaz loves daddy/mommy snuggles, MILK, meal time, emptying kitchen drawers, eating questionable objects under the kitchen table, door stoppers, expressing himself with his eyebrows, music/dancing, glue sticks, and bath time. He lights up every day brighter than I could've imagined and he is immensely loved and more than adequately adored by all of his brothers and sisters. We'll keep him. 

    Well, I think that's a wrap! If you've made it this far, thank you for sticking it out! Our new home has space that has been previously used as an Airbnb, mostly for Ark/Creation Museum visitors as we are located directly in the middle of the two. We are currently working to re-open the Airbnb and hope to have it as a space to offer any to any of our family/friends that may want to come and visit! PLEASE come and visit!! We love visitors and feel so fortunate to be able to provide a space for people we love to come and be comfortable in our home! 
    Our Christmas season may look a little different this year, but the message remains the same. Our CREATOR GOD, our KING, the author of LIFE, sent his son to earth, in the flesh, to fulfill the mission he was given that we might have hope...and hope we now have! May you all know this hope. Merry Christmas friends!

"But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons."

"And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only 
begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth."

"He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God."

"Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!"

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."







Monday, January 17, 2022

The things of 2021

    Merry/Happy _____________________(<enter nearest holiday)!!! Not sure when this will actually be published...but wanted to cover my bases. Let's just get into it, shall we? 

    We made a new person! By God's abundant grace we introduce you to...

    BOAZ JAMES VAN ANDEL (Bo, Bo-Jangles, Little Bo-Beepers (who lost his sheepers), Beepers, Bo-licious, Bobert, Bozart, Bop-tart, Bee-bop, Bo-boogies...the list goes on)

    Boaz is HERE and HEALTHY and GROWING like a Washington state weed. My pregnancy with Bo was my very best despite "momming" 4 others in the process! Although the pregnancy came with it's own set of unique challenges, I cannot help but ponder how seamlessly this pregnancy progressed in comparison to the previous 3. The one considerable bump in the road came around the 34 week mark when our family inevitably came down with a certain virus. (More on the subject of Emri/Rona coming in the next few paragraphs) C-vid can greatly affect the health of the placenta, especially when contracted during the third trimester of pregnancy, and because of this my wonderful midwives requested we monitor Bo with weekly non-stress tests and consider inducing early. One of my strongest and most bothersome symptoms during c-vid were the coughing fits that continually sent my body into these fun little delightful contraction fests. Praise the LORD, my body held out until Bo was a good 37 weeks and 3 days baked. November 21, 2021 we departed our home at the atrocious hour of 3AM and arrived at Special Delivery Birth Center...reasonably haggard yet overly eager to welcome our darling boy into this nutso world. Labor was...well, laborious....but probably the best one yet. The waters were broken at 8:30AM and little man officially arrived at 11:10AM! Every birth is extraordinary and miraculous and difficult to ever entirely process...a whole new soul thrust into the complicatedness that is this world, but fraught with potential to bring glory to our Creator and King. It's just really...really incredible. 

    Bo was born very quickly. The overly rapid exit caused Bo to retain a lot of excess fluid which consequently made the whole "breathing" thing extra tricky. Our wonderful, God-fearing midwives prayed aloud as they worked to get Bo breathing consistently on his own and at one point stopped and asked Brett to pray. About 20 seconds after Brett had finished praying, our sweet boy began to nurse and his tired little body assumed a more reassuring shade of pink rather than blue. Bo continued to have small grunting episodes accompanied by blue-ish lips until he managed to expel an impressive amount of fluid at 2AM the next morning. After the great fluid purge, Bo contentedly assumed the position of "new kid on the block" in our home. He is abundantly adored by all four older sibs, although I will readily confess that Eiley's love comes in waves (dramatic ones) and with certain conditions...we'll get there๐Ÿ˜„. Brett was able to take a good, healthy chunk of time away from work to hang at home and the Lord knew we needed it. We now embark on a new journey with constantly evolving routines/schedules, endeavoring to settle into a groove that works for us. 











    Because it's been a dismally long period of time since I have written a blog, I feel like a head-to-toe Emri tour may be appreciated by those of you who may occasionally wonder about such things. I will commence the tour with Emri's eyes. Emri can SEE. Emri's sight has perpetually been obscured by globular lenses that have parked themselves quite unabashedly in Emri's line of sight, causing her to see 180/20 in one eye and 120/20 in the other. In laymen's terms...quite legally blind. At her last ophthalmologist appointment at Hopkins, we received the good news that those silly balled-up lenses had finally dropped out of Emri's line of sight (something we had been hoping for) and that with help, Emri's vision could be corrected to 40/20. We were overjoyed at the prospect of Emri being able to see this well after so many years of horrendously poor eyesight. After being unable to successfully attain a strong enough pair of glasses, we resolved to give contacts an old fashioned try. After a skirmish of monumental proportions, the contacts were in place and we eagerly awaited the official report from Emri....she could easily read off the correct number of fingers that I was holding up for her a whole 15 feet away! It took a small while for Emri to understand that seeing "clearly" was how she was always meant to see. After 10 years of viewing the world through perpetually shifting globular lenses, Emri can now SEE. We are so immensely grateful for this. 

    Emri's mouth is about to undergo a major remodel. She will soon be going under at Seattle Children's in order to pull a number of teeth (baby and permanent) and will also be getting a pallet expander placed in order to widen her extremely high/small pallet. After all of that, it will be time for braces.     

Emri's spinal rods are holding steady and we were told that the next spine surgery would most likely be a final fusion...meaning no more rod replacements! 

    Emri's aorta continues to make small, incremental jumps in growth, but has, for the most part, remained stable as she, herself has grown as well. Her aorta is measuring anywhere from 3.7 to 3.9 mm. Emri's heart valves continue to leak, but remain in the "moderate" category. We continue to pray (please pray with us) for her heart to remain stable and that aorta/valve surgery can be put off for as long as possible. Or just pray for complete healing of her heart...because we know God is able, don't we?

    Emri continues to be primarily g-tube fed and is a total turtle when it comes to gaining weight. Weight gain has ALWAYS been a major struggle for Emri and we are continually surmising new and inventive ways to add calories to her diet. We have held strong at just under 50 lbs. for a while now and pray we can help her body continue to gain steadily. 

    Emri continues to walk with braces that support her feet/calves, but has become frustrated with some muscle regression stemming from her spine/lung surgeries two years ago. One of Emri's feet turns in pretty substantially when she walks and it has caused walking to become more painful, tiring and overall discouraging. We will be visiting Hopkins this spring and hope to have more insight into any available therapies/surgeries that may be able to help fix whatever is causing her foot to turn in so dramatically. Pray that this is something that can be improved on as it continues to be a major frustration in Emri's daily life. 

    As I mentioned previously, our family caught that one virus (you know, the ONE) in October. I was the first one to come down with symptoms and Emri was the last. In my hours/days/months worth of reading/researching/questioning everything c-vid, I FINALLY found a local health care provider that would work with me in preparing a "home pharmacy" so-to-speak in the event that Emri would test positive. We worked together with this provider to treat Emri prophylactically and also to collect the drugs/supplements we felt needed to be available to her if the time would come. Well...the time came. Along with body aches came Emri's positive test. The Lord led us to the right health care provider JUST in time to have the tools available to treat her. Although Emri didn't feel her best, she certainly came through the virus more unscathed than any other virus she has had for the past 5 years. It was truly unbelievable to see Emri fly through c-vid after all of the time and energy we have spent attempting to prepare for it. The rest of the family handled the virus very, very well. Eiley showcased some impressive snot rockets for a good solid week and really soaked in those empathy snuggles. The boys seemed to experience an absurd INCREASE in energy despite testing positive for the virus and Brett had a whole 24 hours of symptoms after taking the same "magic meds" (inquire within) that Emri was put on. We praise the Lord for His provision through our c-vid journey and are immensely grateful for those magnificent natural antibodies we can now depend upon!

    Besides all of THAT๐Ÿ‘†☝๐Ÿ‘†, our family has been SO BLESSED this year to have my mom jump into homeschooling the oldest three kids. I cannot EVEN tell you the sheer joy and relief it brings my heart to have someone so naturally gifted in teaching (I think I missed that gene) able to school my kids this year. While the kids and Gamma conquer school, I get to hang with the littles, the laundry, the dishes, the mop, the chickens, and occasionally Dora the Explorer. IT. IS. SO. GREAT.

    Well, I think I covered our year in a vague-ish, perhaps slightly incomplete nutshell. I have so much to say in my heart that delves deeper than the physical realm, but this may have to do for now. As we all well know, life is not as predictable as we once perceived it to be...but I dare say, realizing this is a good thing. Living out our lives while more constantly realizing our own fragility comes with a certain eager intentionality to really seek and truly rest in our Savior, yeah? 


        "God is our REFUGE and STRENGTH, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.

    There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High. God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns. The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.....

                                                        .....Be still and know that I am God."


    I fail every day in so many ways to live well for the Lord. But yet, because I am forgiven and loved so completely, I know these promises remain for me. Let's cling to these promises together as we walk (stumble) through the uncertain valleys. To HIM be the GLORY. 

                                            SO much love...until next time. ~Erin~




Tuesday, January 21, 2020

A Birfday blog



It's my birthday today and I asked my dear husband if I could spend a little time "away" to write a blog. My version of "away" turned out to be on my couch with noise cancelling head phones on while the rest of my family watches a movie in the same room. I could retreat to a less distraction oriented location, but alas, I don't like to miss out on stuff (especially on my birfday) and the intensity of the quiet is just too much to take sometimes...so this works.

I apologize to those of you who have been following our family so closely on facebook or the blog as we fumbled our way through the last few months of surgical festivities with Emri. I did, in fact, fall off the face of the earth when we finally arrived back home. By "falling off the face of the earth" I mean I crashed. Crashed head-on into the hard, cold wall of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual exhaustion. Although sweet relief and immeasurable thankfulness are most definitely a thing as we, clumsily at times, establish our new "normal" back here, at home, I struggle with the substantial weight of what just happened.

These past few months have brought about many firsts for me. Never, ever have I felt the fragility of Emri's life so near and so real. We have been through what feels like entire lifetimes of medical misery with our dear girl, and yet I've never felt quite so helpless as a mother or seen Emri quite so sick. I've never witnessed Emri's spirit so weak, face so pale, or body so frail. I've never felt my heart sink so painfully low, and I've never before heard my words of "comfort" sound so hollow or feel so miserably futile. My body has never suffered so much neglect as I spilled out all that I had to care for my incredibly sick child. I've never felt so weak, so tired, so desperate, so sad, or so weary. I've never contemplated so deeply, loved so entirely, or cried so violently.

I've also never been so thankful. I've never been so relieved to leave the hospital with my living, breathing, tired little girl. I've never hugged my children so long and so hard. I've never felt so much happy sweep over my body as my family reunited after the longest time apart. I've never had a more thankful Thanksgiving. I've never come to a deeper realization that without Christ, hope is truly lost. I've never clung to the sovereignty of God so tightly and I've never pleaded with God so passionately or thanked him so profoundly. I've never had to rely so heavily on the truths and promises of Scripture and I've never had more motivation to teach my children truth, to shine Christ to whoever I may cross paths with, and to pray earnestly that the story of hope that I share may be used to encourage the saved and to save the lost.

Reading the two paragraphs above, you might perceive how difficult it would be to answer the seemingly simple question of, "So, how are you doing?" The honest answer is complex, but easily broken down. When I am inside of myself, thinking my own thoughts, and ignoring what I know to be true, the answer is simply, "Well, I'm quite miserable, thank you for asking." OR, you may never get the opportunity to ask me that question because I am in hiding, attempting to figure out how I can escape any and every interaction with anyone ever again. When left to myself, my thoughts lead me so promptly to a dark place. A place I have allowed myself to go many times. A place where depression, anxiety, and hopelessness shroud truth and seem to swallow me whole. A place where an escape feels so awfully unattainable. But truth prevails. Truth ALWAYS prevails.


When my thoughts lead me to feel afraid, alone, or hopeless God says...

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. "

"Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. "



"It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. "

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. "

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."



I could go on and on and on...but let's end with MY FAVORITE VERSE EVER BECAUSE I NEED IT EVERY DAY...

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."


I fail so often to rest in God and the peace he so freely offers me because I allow my heart to be deceived by the lies that the devil so desperately wants me to believe. But God's promises remain and I continually run back to them as I realize, once again, that I have not actively taken my thoughts captive and replaced the lies with truth. Every thought I have should be followed by questions. Is this thought based on truth? Does it line up with what God tells me? If not, it is not from God and not worth my time.

That's where I'm at right now. I'm coming out of an all-too-familiar dark place. A place I have gone far too often as I process the trauma of going through really hard things with a really sick kid. While held to the flame, I have no choice but to cling to hope. When released from the intense heat of the flame, my weariness leads me to become spiritually lazy which is no good at all. It's a vicious cycle that I hope to put to death as I continue down this path God has chosen for my life.

I sometimes feel guilty even talking about my own struggle when thinking about Emri and the unthinkable physical pain and suffering she has endured....but that is her story to tell, and I pray God uses her big, big story in big, big ways some day.

Since we have been home, Emri has ever-so-slowly been making progress. By making progress I mean things like sitting up for longer periods at a time without her face turning white, being off of pain meds for an entire week, knee walking a little each day without severe leg pain, desiring to eat small amounts by mouth (like half a tortilla) and wanting to play for a few minutes at a time with her siblings. Laying in a hospital bed for two months and enduring two major surgeries along with 3 additional chest tube placements was a really big deal for Emri. I imagine it would be a really big deal for anyone, but for Emri, with all of the "complicatedness" that is her body, you can maybe imagine how bonkers her body went after it all went down. She has just been so worn. So progress HAS been slow, but in just the last week Emri has walked holding on to the kitchen counter twice. It was beautiful and emotional and the whole family beamed with pride brighter than the sun as we watched her be all courageous and strong. I will try to post a progress video on facebook soon so that you all can beam too.

It's hard to remember life before all of the Baltimore fun, but one big, important, really marvelous thing happened about 10 months ago that I know I have not yet blogged about. We had another KID!!! What an INCREDIBLE GIFT this little nugget is to our family. Eiley Noelle Van Andel entered this world at 37 weeks and 6 days after a very, very, very long and arduous 9 months of pregnancy. Every pregnancy has been very difficult for me as I get SO sick and become really, very useless as a human being which is problematic when you are, in fact, a mother to three other children. You know what's funny though?? The second that sweet, beautiful little soul locked eyes with me, I wanted to do it all over again. The experience of becoming a mother to another soul is unreal and feels much too good to be true every singe time. I have had the unique privilege of becoming a mother through biological means and through adoption, and although becoming an insta-mother to a toddler presents different challenges, the euphoria is the same.

Eiley has been my most easy-going baby, which is really great, because she really hasn't had much of a choice in the matter. I had the privilege of nursing her until I had to leave her and the boys with Brett's parents as we embarked on our Baltimore journey with Emri. I had planned to continue nursing her when we returned home, but apparently big-time stress messes with milk supply. Eiley is now chunking up quite nicely on formula and continues to be the happiest baby there ever was. She's really a very funny baby and the funny part is that she seems to know when she is being funny, which we all think is funny. She is just recently mastering the infamous "fit"---which for now is a little bit hilarious if I'm being honest, as she throws herself backward in an attempt to alert me to the fact that she is indeed, displeased regarding her current life circumstances. I always wonder how babies come to the conclusion that flailing their little bodies all over the place communicates dissatisfaction...we may never know.




























The boys continue to eat and grow at an alarming rate and I feel as if Abe might be looking me in the eye much too soon for my liking. Abe turned 7 at the end of October and remains the most empathetic, charming little man. This whole surgery thing with Emri was hard on his little heart and was evidenced by the fact that every time we face-timed from the hospital, and he saw Emri hooked up to all the things, he had to look away from the screen. He also had to leave the hospital room every time Emri was in pain while he was in Baltimore with us. He has such a huge heart and can't stand to see those he loves struggling. He is my animal adoring clone and LOVES to learn ALL the things about animals and plants. He enjoys playing lego with Emri and Jaemin, animal/insect figurines, and also being ALL BOY with his brother.

Jaemin is our energizer bunny and keeps us on our tippy-toes always! He just turned 6 in November. He LOVES playing with baby Eiley and takes his role as big brother very seriously. It is funny for me to see a kid who doesn't EVER stop moving, pause as often as he does to love on his baby sister. School is not his favorite YET, but we are working on tuning in to his learning style and rolling with it. He is a smart little cookie, but patience and sitting still is not his strong suit! We are going to have to get a little creative to find some solutions for his fidgety little bum. Jaemin also enjoys playing lego with Emri and Abe, anything relating to ninjas or TMNT (kid's got some MOVES), and wrestling with his big brother.

Brett is busy catching up on work after two months away. We are so grateful that he has the opportunity to be his own boss, since our life is a little on the "insanely unpredictable" side. Brett has yet to advertise his services because he has been TOO BUSY to need to advertise. He thoroughly enjoys being an architect and is so thankful to be doing what he loves. 
We are still in the process of remodeling the old water tower on our property. We are turning the water tower into a 3 story tiny house in hopes to make it into a VRBO or Airbnb type of situation. I look forward to sharing the befores/afters of this project---it's been quite the undertaking and my brother-in-law Daniel has been doing an AMAZING job tackling this new project. 

I continue to homeschool Emri, Abe and Jaemin and have just recently felt like we are "back in the groove" so to speak. Yes, it's difficult to homeschool three different ages and care for a busy-bee baby, but I wouldn't want it any other way. I love having the opportunity to teach my children the important things in life like how to love each other like Christ loves us and the not-as-important things like how many squirrels there are in the tree if there are 11 branches with 3 squirrels in each branch. Every day is a new opportunity to raise these precious souls as God calls me to. There are days I fail wretchedly and want to send everyone to boarding school and drink coffee alone in my bedroom instead, but there are more days where I truly treasure the time I get to spend with my children and revel in the opportunity God has granted me to raise them up to Lord willing, become vessels for His good purposes. 

There you have it people. A birfday blog...written with love and thankfulness to all those who actually take the time to read it all. May 2020 bring even more growth, more love, more diligence, and maybe more babies (just kidding, I think).


Here are a few more pics of my dear children because I really like them (my children and the pictures).































Sunday, November 24, 2019

Active updates following Oct. 2019 surgery...PART TWO

Nov. 19, 9:00 AM

"We are in the ER at Nationwide Children's hospital in Columbus, OH. Emri has another pnuemothorax. We are just so devastated. We are expressing our desire to get back to Hopkins, but I think we are going to have to place a chest tube here before any transportation is an option."


Nov. 19, 2:00 PM


"Emri is getting her third chest tube placed right now at Nation Wide Children's Hospital. We are told we will be transported back to Hopkins as soon as they feel safe about it all. We are just heartbroken and have never been wearier. We will most likely be pursuing a procedure at Hopkins that will be done to prevent future pneumothorax episodes. I will update more when I know more.

"Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am here, I am your God, I am here."
This is the song were were listening to before Emri was taken back. God is working for our good. I am clinging to that promise."

Nov. 20, 4:00 PM

"So many things.
-God sustained Emri through yet ANOTHER chest tube procedure and pain is being managed well here, at Nation Wide Children's.
-Insurance denied us being transported back to Hopkins....but we have a phenomenal team of doctors/social workers/people I don't even know about working on it all.
-The Sydney Lerman Foundation has SO graciously gifted us money towards reuniting our family once we get back to Baltimore. I just can't even wait.
-It was Brett and Jaemin's birthdays yesterday. I haven't been able to write a celebratory post because I'm beyond weary and sad. But we will celebrate ALL the more when we are together again.



"The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you."








Nov. 21, 8:30 AM
"This girl."

Nov. 22, 9:45 AM

"Firstly: I know there are a lot of confused people, not knowing where we are, or how we got here because if you scroll through facebook and see an update it may be an old one. Make sure to just go to my actual facebook page to check for the latest updates. There have been a number of individuals who have reached out wishing us a happy ride home, which unfortunately is not our current situation. ๐Ÿ˜ข

Today's focus:
"The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyHn_KPm3uk


We still have not been cleared by insurance to be medically transported back to Hopkins. Our other option, which we are now pursuing more seriously, is for us to be medically cleared (which a doctor here is willing to do) to travel with a different chest tube attachment that would allow any big air accumulation in Emri's chest cavity to be released as we drive. In order for this to happen, we are doing a trial run for the next 24 hours hooked up to that particular attachment, and a couple x-rays to make sure things are stable.

Emri had a good day yesterday---an overly welcome reprieve amidst a pretty intense month of medical misery. We saw smiles, heard a few giggles, and saw life and hope in her eyes (refer to yesterday's pic:) The chest tube pain has been less this time around which is such an answer to prayer.
So we march on---eager to pursue treatment that will put an end to this lung madness. We are all very sad that this treatment requires an additional surgery, but look forward to the day this can all be in the past.
We thank the Lord for how he has cared for us. I know as time goes on, that we will see more and more of God's goodness and provision in this situation...Brett and I have already been talking about how we see God working out details that we didn't even know needed to be worked out in the first place. "...your Father knows what you need before you ask him." I so often fail to fully trust in the sovereignty and goodness of the Lord...and yet he patiently teaches me over and over again, through each trial, that our ways are NOT his...praise the Lord for this."

Nov. 23, 9:45 AM

"Take two." ๐ŸŽฌ

Nov. 24, 9:00 AM

"We praise God for bringing us safely back to Hopkins. We finally got a room last night around midnight. Rumors of surgery tomorrow already. I will update when we know for sure."

Nov. 25, 9:00 AM

"Newest news: Emri is on the list for surgery this afternoon (5ish). The CT she had done yesterday did not show any blebs in her lungs, which is a good thing, but doesn't give us a clear answer as to where these air leaks are originating. As of now, the plan is to perform a pluradesis alone, which scars the outside of the lung in order to make it adhere to the chest wall as a preventative for future collapse. IF they go in with the camera and see any area of concern (a popped bleb, or a bleb not seen ok CT) then that portion of lung tissue will be removed. The surgeon met with us this morning and warned us that many times this procedure needs to be done a few times to fully resolve the issues. We are asking everyone to plead with the Lord...that this procedure resolves Emri's lungs issues and that we are able to put this all behind us.



It has now been over a month that we have been apart as a family. We will be reunited on Thursday as my courageous parents fly out with Abe, Jaemin and Eiley. We are praying that Emri will be far enough out from surgery that seeing her siblings will be a welcome and enjoyable experience for her. We are also praying we can be out of the PICU and on the floor where visiting rules are less stringent.
Thank you for sticking with us on this unexpectedly long, painful journey. We are grateful.
Side note---Brett met BJ Novak and got his children's book signed for Emri. It's a funny book, and made Emri smile this morning."



Nov. 25, 4:00 PM

"Surgery postponed until tomorrow. There was an emergency case that took Emri's spot. Emri will be getting an IV placed tonight to make sure she stays hydrated for whenever an operating room is available tomorrow. Pray that we can rest and for us to all experience peace as we wait a little longer."

Nov. 26, 4:00 PM

"Grateful for:

-A ladybug to distract Emri in the hour before surgery.
-The silly meds working their magic.
-Watching Emri "princess wave" all the way to the OR.
-A less traumatic going to sleep process than the last 9.

Will update when we hear anything."




Nov. 26

"She's out and stable. This was surgery/procedure #10 in Emri's 9 years of life. We really racked up that number in the past month...go big or go home, right??!? (We did TRY to go home) It ended up being a pretty extensive procedure, so we are in the PICU again for pain control and observation. Pray for this sweet girl...the suffering she has gone through in this past month just blows my mind. Emri, sweetheart, God is doing big things in and through you. I love you beautiful girl. Now let's do this healing thing and get home!!"

Nov. 27

"Emri is having a rough day with pain and low 02. Please pray for these things to improve soon. We need some relief from this all."

Nov. 27

"My sweet girl is finally resting well after a long, tough day. Her 02 has improved as she has become more relaxed/medicated. I had a mediocre meltdown when her 02 was dipping today, thinking it could be yet ANOTHER lung issue or that the surgery wasn't doing what it was supposed to do...I am living a life where I am near-CONSTANTLY reminded who is actually in control (hint: it's not me) because there is quite literally NOTHING I can do to help Emri physically heal or feel less pain. My eyes just kind of constantly leak these days-mourning the pain Emri is facing most moments of most days. I am pleading with the Lord tonight for rest, healing and true relief for her. Spiritually speaking, God is working overtime in all of us---God is stretching us and teaching us and we will walk away from this all spiritually richer than we have ever been. Praise the Lord for this.
We are so grateful to have been moved up to a room on the 10th floor---the biggest room, with a view of helicopters taking off and landing, which works out nicely with our extra-special visitors coming tomorrow:) We are really hoping the nutso weather systems moving around the country do not negatively impact the kids and my parents getting here tomorrow...my heart is overly ready to have those three little gremlins back in my arms. I honestly feel like I am going to need to re-acquaint myself with Eiley---she's grown and changed so much and it all feels very strange.

If I don't get to it tomorrow, I wish you all a very happy thanksgiving! I am THANKFUL for all of you---for the messages, texts, emails, gift cards, gifts, phone calls, PRAYERS...the Lord is working through all of you to encourage our weary hearts as we work our way through some deep waters.

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.'"

Nov. 28
"Happy, happy, happy Thanksgiving! Funny how the deepest pain can bring about the deepest thanks. My heart has never been more full."❤️

Nov. 29
"Sorry for the lack of updates--we've been soaking in the family time. There just aren't words to describe how it feels to be a family again. The emotion of it all is just plain overwhelming.
Emri got her chest tube removed today! It was fairly traumatic since this chest tube was much larger than her last two. She is also experiencing a lot of apprehension about needing another one following all of the happenings in the last month. Reassuring her is difficult because we cannot tell her with certainty that she won't need another one, but what we can tell her is that there are literally hundreds of people praying along with us for her healing and that God IS and will continue to work for our good, regardless of our physical circumstances. As we waited for the doctors to come remove the tube, we talked about Paul and his ability to find contentment at all times....even cold and hungry in prison. We spoke the words of one of our beloved "Scripture lullabies"... "Do not worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for what he has done!" Emri and I are learning these truths together---growing in faith together with many, many opportunities to put it all into practice.

We wake up tomorrow to a new day of healing. We are now primarily focused on getting back to Emri's baseline g-tube feeds, lots of PT, and pain control. We know this road to recovery will be a long one. Please continue to pray us through this, as so many of you have faithfully done so far. What an incredible journey we're on!"












Dec. 1
"We're getting there friends! Emri is ever so slowly making progress, although she had a nauseous tummy all day yesterday, which made it impossible to get all of her g-tube feeds in. Today, she seems to feel ok until we start to feed her---she wants us to stop before we can get very much in. We think she may be having some withdrawal symptoms due to med weaning, so we are taking it slower. Moving Emri around is also still extremely challenging due to pain. We know it's important to be moving her for her healing, but it's heartbreaking to see her in so much pain over and over again. Gampa brought her a giant stuffed unicorn this morning which produced some of the biggest smiles we've seen yet. She is currently working on a name for said unicorn.
The boys have been on quite a few adventures out on the town (with lots of sanitizer), but they always end the day with a visit to see Emri and mommy at the hospital. Emri barely says a word all day to me or the nurses...but when those boys walk in, she doesn't stop talking. She needed them.
My sweet baby girl has been hanging in the hospital with me and it has been absolute balm to my soul. I'm not going to lie...for the first 24 hours of being with Eiley, I felt like I was holding someone else's baby, and she seemed to struggle figuring it all out as well...but we both feel it again now---that we belong together---and it's absolute bliss.
That's all I've got for now"♥️"











Dec. 1

#waystomakeemrilaughinthehospital


Dec. 2

"As we wean off of SO many meds, we are giving larger doses of sibling love. And we're, like, totally fine with overdosing on this kind of medicine."




Dec. 2

"We got out of our room! And tomorrow, Lord willing, we will get out of this hospital! Emri did well in her wheelchair for about 25 minutes tonight while Abe gave us a hospital tour. We turned off Emri's IV nutrition today in attempt to see if it was the culprit in making her nauseous. She tolerated more g-tube feeds today, so we are guessing that the IV nutrition was at least part of the problem. She will get the IV stuff overnight tonight yet, and then have her picc line removed tomorrow morning. After that, there is nothing keeping us inpatient. We will be staying at the Ronald McDonald house for at least another week, and having an appointment with Emri's pulmonologist before we even attempt to make plans to get home.
My parents are leaving tomorrow after flying our other three kids out here on Thanksgiving. I cannot thank them enough for making the trip out here and all of their help caring for the kids while here. What a tremendous blessing.
Brett's parents arrive late tonight, and will be spending the next week with us here. We are BEYOND thankful to have both sets of parents ready, willing, and desiring to pour themselves out to help us in this crazy, crazy time.
Pray with us as we leave this place tomorrow and transition to the next phase of healing for Emri. As you have seen in the pictures I've been posting, being with her brothers and sister has undeniably lifted her spirit, and I truly believe her physical healing benefits from it all too."





Dec. 4
"We are at the Ronald McDonald house. We got here yesterday afternoon, and Emri is doing OK. I will try to update more after the Christmas party tonight."

Dec. 4
"Perfect."

Dec. 4
"I promised an update after our party tonight, so here it is! We arrived here, at the Ronald McDonald house yesterday around dinner time. Emri rested in bed until she heard that there were service dogs downstairs, which excited her enough to get out of bed and visit with them. She loved it, but faded quickly and needed to be put back in bed after about 20 minutes with her furry friends. Today we spent most of the day in the game room. We managed to get Emri comfy enough on some giant bean bags to watch a movie and even play a little with the boys.
We had some very special friends visit right before the Christmas party. Cassie and her mom, Alix came to see us! Cassie just so happens to be having the same lung surgery that Emri just had tomorrow morning. If you have been faithfully praying for Emri, please remember Cassie in your prayers also๐Ÿ™.
The Christmas party was fun enough that Emri remained up in her chair for a good hour. She was EXHAUSTED tonight when we got up to our room and fell asleep in a matter of minutes after tucking her into bed.
Specific prayer requests include increased stamina with sitting upright, increased 02 levels (still hanging in the low 90's much of the day), and just overall pain management. This kid has been through it. We removed some bandaging today while dressing Emri and her body bears so many scars and war wounds---stark reminders of the immense pain Emri has been through this past month, but also beautiful reminders of what God has safely carried her through. Enjoy the pics of our last two days below."













Dec. 7
"Grandpa and Grandma VA---THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU---not only for caring for our three crazies for over a month, but for making the trip out here to see us and help us adjust to life outside of the hospital. It has truly taken a village and you have been such a HUGE part of our village. We miss you already. ❤️
Emri has been doing well. Getting a little stronger every day. She took her first shower in 37 days, saw Frozen 2, is beginning to ask for small amounts of food by mouth, and had a successful Pulmonology appointment with our dear Dr. Neptune. The plan is to remain here until next week Wednesday and then our long voyage home will commence. We ask for prayer for Emri's body and spirit to continue healing and gaining strength. We also ask for prayers for a very UNEVENTFUL trip home as the time draws near for us to depart. "




Dec. 9
"December 9, 2019: Ronald McDonald House Baltimore, MD----Eiley CRAWLS! And boy, she is mighty proud of herself!"



Dec. 10
"Hey all. It's been hard to put together an update on Emri because...well....progress is very, very slow for her right now and includes a lot of resting. Also, the pictures I have been taking of her are hard to share because she looks so pale, tired, and sometimes just sad. But progress is progress after all. With everything Emri has been through in the past month +, it has been SO incredibly hard to push Emri through MORE pain and discomfort even though we KNOW how necessary it is to do just that. Emri is taking small steps forward every day, but is very, very weak. 
If any of you have been following our journey from the beginning, you know how much effort we have put into helping Emri put on any sort of weight. These kids with the infantile marfan diagnosis just have so much trouble putting ANY weight on, but we are following a regimen that a few other infantile kids have followed and experienced some success with. We met with a gastroenterologist this morning at Hopkins to see if there was anything else we could be trying with Emri and he is prescribing an antihistamine that has "increased appetite" as a specific side effect. We will be adding this to the regimen and hope for good results. If this doesn't seem to have any effect on Emri, there are a couple of other "tools in the toolbox" that we may be trying as well, but for now, we hope and pray this girl can put on some weight.
We had planned on beginning our drive home tomorrow, but our rental car was less expensive if we got it for Thursday---so Thursday it is.
For those of you praying for Emri's friend Cassie, she is going home tonight!!! So thankful to hear this good news from her mom a few minutes ago!
Keep those prayers rolling---God is so good to us!!"

Dec. 12

"Oh boy. Jesus take the wheel. Also, Emri has a stuffy nose. May the prayers abound!"


Dec. 13

"Sometimes I look to my left and see things like this.

Trip's going well"๐Ÿ˜Š





















Dec. 18

"We're HOME." ❤️