What year is it?

Well, HO HO HOOOOOOOOOLD on a minute. It's been 2 YEARS since I've written a blog?!? Man alive. What even happened last year? My sincerest apologies to those who believe me when I cordially invite you, each year, to keep up with our family on this blog. I would say "it's the thought that counts", but that really doesn't get us anywhere, does it? I suppose if I actually updated you all on life, you might understand why the blogs are coming so few and far between. SO...here we goooooo....

THERE'S A NEW GUY IN OUR HOUSE. 

ARI WILLIAM VAN ANDEL was born on May 9th, 2024, weighing 7lbs 3oz---and on Brett's Grandpa Alfred Schempers' birthday. Unbeknownst to us at the time of Ari's birth, Brett's Grandpa Alfred's middle name was also William. Crazy sauce. 

Ari was born at exactly 38 weeks gestation, just like his biggest sister Emri. Pregnancy was once again fraught with nausea/vomiting, and a level of fatigue that remains utterly indescribable to me, lots of prodromal labor, and a nice little thyroid scare just to keep things entertaining. But oh MAN....the end result is SO WORTH every ounce of strife (and pound of weight) that pregnancy brings. 

This little guy....you guys...another ABSOLUTELY EXTRAORDINARY miracle to behold. Another perfectly unique person with a one-of-a-kind personality that we get to acquaint ourselves with. Another WHOLE SOUL that we pray will serve our Creator forever in His Kingdom. WHAT A GIFT. I sometimes stand in awe of my life. What is this life that God has granted to me? How has He seen fit to give Brett and I SIX little people to help mold, hug, love, tickle, teach and pray over? Every time new life enters our fold, I wonder...can I REALLY love this one as much as the rest? And SURE ENOUGH...I can and I do and I will continue. It's an equation that my human mind can't seem to deduce...but my heart and soul seem content to grasp the concept flawlessly and without much effort. 

Ari might be my happiest baby. I would guess his overtly discernable sense of satisfaction comes from the steady (often relentless) flow of positive recognition/energy that he receives from all 5 older sibs...OR God just knew I needed a happy #6. Whatever the reason, we are so immensely grateful for this kid and his big ol' slobbery, toofer-y grin. Ari is also is my first babe with allllll the hair! I've historically produced big ol' bald headed babies😂! Also, since birth, Ari has had a wee-little sprig of hair with a life of it's own that takes flight and sticks straight up after every bath and it's really very delightful. This exciting little phenomenon has earned him a few nicknames such as "Alfalfa" and "Sprout". 

Boaz is THREE...yes THREE. If you ask him, he will still insist that he is still two, but don't believe the lie, I was there when he was born. I would say, without much hesitation, that "Bobert" (yes, the least cute nickname has stuck, and stuck hard), is in his "challenge" era. He likes to challenge the rules, any positive and/or sensible suggestions, his siblings, and my patience....but OH DO WE LOVE HIM SO. What would I be without the sanctification that comes with toddlerhood😅? By the time Ari is through toddlerhood, I should be perfect...right?😆😂😆 I joke. Boaz is a hot wheels maniac. He loves ALL THINGS CARS...and much like the frame of his beloved cars, Bo has a will made of steel. But the kid can melt my heart into a blubbery heap with one genuine snuggle, humorous remark, or snot infested kiss.  

Eiley is FIVE and just started school this year...class clown I would say. I think she would claim to enjoy school....but mostly because there has been a very serious pact involving glitter at the end of every lesson. Yes, my kitchen table shines as brightly as the noonday sun at times...but is it worth it? Debatable. Eiley enjoys days filled with make-believe, singing, dancing, coloring, playing with friends/cousins, dodging/initiating conflict with the Bobert, asking for snacks, greatly admiring her older sibs, and soaking in as much time outside as the weather will allow. Eiley wants to be a mom when she grows up and adores her baby brother even more than chocolate. She, also, has a will that does not bend with ease...but we continue to pray for that valiant strength to be purposed for bigger and better things as she grows and learns. She's a mover and a shaker and we love her quite a lot. 

Jaemin is ELEVEN. How. I don't even know how. The growth that has occurred in Jaemin over the past couple of years is mind-blowing. He's just really becoming quite the extraordinary young man. Jaemin is a man of many questions...a self proclaimed, "curious guy." He loves to watch and learn anything and everything besides maybe long division😆. Jaemin and Abe are so inseparable that they are sometimes accidentally referred to as "Jabe" or "Abin". I cannot remember the last time they fought...God knew they needed each other and it's really a remarkable thing. Jaemin is a lover of all things Star Wars, insects, swimming, babies (especially Ari at the moment), reptiles, all things fast and active, and is currently learning piano! He is a student of the Word and continues to pursue a knowledge of God daily! We sure are proud of him. 

Abe. TWELVE. And no, I'm not ok with this. Like, who goes from 2 to 12 that fast? Ridiculous. Abe is in 5th grade and loves Lord of the Rings, reading, jokes, drawing, swimming, bugs, dinosaurs, and is currently learning guitar! Abe is a passionate guy and pursues all of his interests with a vigor to learn and conquer the entire subject. Abe thoroughly enjoys his role as a big brother to the littlest 3 and they eat up any and all attention they can get from him. He loves his little sister so much that you can often find him playing the role of Eiley's horse...and she truly delights in bossing her "horse" around. He's a good guy, that Abe. It's one of my life's sweetest blessings to watch the olders with the youngers. Abe is continually pursuing truth with a passion. It all started with those dinosaurs. Abe can teach Creationism with the best of 'em! Makes me all teary.  

Emri is FOURTEEN you guys. I can't even believe the lifetime of hardships she has been through to get here, but she's FOURTEEN and we are incredibly thankful! Emri will be starting high school in the fall and is a brainiac when it comes to the whole math thing (architect brain). She loves art, crafting, swimming, taking walks (or wheels), being outside, traveling, playing with her siblings/friends/cousins, and is also currently learning piano. Watching her and Ari together...it's almost too much for my mom heart to take. They truly have the most delicious little relationship. It seems like Ari already admires Emri dearly when he looks at her. They have some long, deep conversations on the daily and Emri soaks up every snuggle she can get from her #1 fan. Emri loves her Creator and continues to pursue truth through Scripture. To begin to see glimpses of fruit in your kids' lives produces a joy so deep and a gratefulness so profound. Thank you Lord, Thank you Lord, Thank you LORD! How grateful I am that Emri seems to have a relationship with the only one who can bring her lasting truth, comfort and peace in a life full of adversity!

We took a Hopkins trip a couple of months ago and met with Emri's ophthalmologist, orthopedic surgeon, and cardiologist. Emri's eyesight remains stable with contacts! Her sight is something I don't think we will ever take for granted. Emri spent 12 years in the legally blind category, looking through blobby lenses that refused to drop out of her line of sight. To watch her function with new eyes is just...it's wonderful. We continue to pray for her retinas to remain strong and intact as retinal detachment is a common phenomenon in the marfan community. We are waiting to see if Emri needs to start eye drops that will stop the growth of her eyes in order to lower the risk of retinal complications. 

Emri had her magnetic rods lengthened for maybe the last time while we were at Hopkins. Her rods have likely hit their limit and Emri will be facing a final spinal fusion in the near future. Emri also needs a few leg operations in an attempt to help her be able to walk in a safer fashion. At the moment Emri uses her wheel chair when we are out, mostly knee-walks at home and has a lot of trouble walking on her feet. Her legs have developed in a way that make it very hard for her to walk (even with support) and we are hoping some of these future operations can help straighten out her legs to make walking a more frequent and less troublesome/painful reality for her. 

Emri's heart has remained STABLE for a while now. This last appointment was SUCH an immense relief because despite Emri growing taller and gaining some (much needed) weight over the last year, her heart has not grown with her body! This is just SUCH an answer to prayer. We have held our breath for countless appointments for 14 years, waiting for the day we were told her heart needed surgery. Her heart has remained stable for so long! We are SO grateful for this! 

Overall, Emri is really doing remarkable for everything her disease has brought her way. Her biggest daily struggles at the moment really come in the form of viral illness. Every virus brings weeks of misery, weight loss, and fatigue. The winters are a STRUGGLE for our family. Making decisions on how to do life while viruses rage on around us is HARD. I always get to the point where I want to just throw in the ol' towel, grab my family, and hide in a burrow with the rabbits until virus season subsides and the sun returns with it's reassuring, healing warmth. But alas, a burrow really isn't sustainable, and we'd probably get pretty stinky and bored in there. Also, we need groceries. 

We seized the opportunity, while traveling east, to take a little field trip to Philly! It was IMPECABLE timing, as I was nearing the end of a government unit study with the kids, where we learned about the history of the US government! Liberty square was a surreal place to be and the older three kids seemed to really soak in the rich history of it all! Highlights included Liberty hall where we viewed the first supreme court and the meeting place of our founding fathers (with a dazzling view of good ol' George Washington's chair), and the Liberty Bell (ask Brett about how he almost got kicked out...or don't).    

BRETT IS 40! 40 whole years of Brett concluded this past November. We celebrated HARD with family and friends for a full two weeks. My favorite part of the celebrations included some AI generated "old-man-Brett" tattoos I was able to order online for all of the family members to wear at his party. His reaction was pretty fantastic. 

Brett works so hard to provide for our family in every way that I could only hope a man would...but most imperatively, he continually points his family to Christ and devotes himself to a life of service to his Savior. He's a keeper! Brett's business has been thriving, here, in KY, despite the uncertainty we had involving his business as we moved cross-country. God continues to provide and we give thanks for that!

After an official 2 years here, we are LOVING Kentucky. Although we certainly miss people and aspects of living in the Pacific Northwest, we have not had one regret about moving our family out to what we refer to as the "middle-east". We have made some very sweet friends here, who have become like family (you know who you are...DUNNS), we have fallen in LOVE with KY countryside with it's endless rolling hills, we have enjoyed being in close proximity to WARM beaches when we need an escape, we have indulged in SO MUCH GOOD FOOD, and we LOVE the opportunities presented to us being in the midst of the AIG community.

You may recall one of our main reasons for moving to the particular location that we are in, included wanting to send our kids to the Answers in Genesis school. It didn't happen. The reasons for continuing homeschooling our kids had nothing to do with the school! When it came time for Brett and I to actually sign our names on the application...we just couldn't do it! We weren't ready to be apart from our kids for 7-8 hours/day. We weren't ready for early mornings, nights of homework, and weekends full of school projects/activities. These things aren't necessarily bad things...but we just couldn't entirely embrace the future as we saw it with our kids attending the school. Brett and I both felt so much relief and peace when we made the decision to continue with homeschooling...and honestly, the kids did too. Although I have days where I am sure my kids are watching my hair turn gray in real time...I wouldn't change a thing. We love our time together. I continue to learn so much as I teach the kids and they seem to love to learn, which is my #1 goal as their teacher. There are days where homeschool life seems impossible and I lose "it"..."it" being my patience/sanity/marbles. There are days where the littles take over and the bigs don't get the attention I desire to give them...or vise versa. BUT, when I step back and look at the big picture--I see so much beauty in it. I see the precious TIME we get together. I see the lessons we learn as a family as we walk through the challenges of being in the same space all day, every day. I see our family work together to make it work and I really, really love it. At the moment, this works for us. 

We are overwhelmingly grateful to finally have my dear parents here, in Kentucky with us! The process has been an uphill battle, with unexpected challenges and some hardships that I will never truly understand...but I am just brought to tears when I think of how thankful I am for our family to all be together. My kids have their Gampa and Gamma back! I have a video of when we announced to the kids that Gampa and Gamma were finally able to move to KY...it was a moment I won't soon forget...truly a monumental celebration! In the process of my parents moving here, we ended up purchasing land with them and plan on building on that land in the coming couple of years! I know, I know...we never stop moving. But this time...this is IT, you guys. LAST MOVE EVER. 😅 We greatly anticipate building a house that works well for the needs of our family...especially Emri. She will finally have a bedroom downstairs! Wheelchair accessible everything! This will be such a tremendous blessing for her---to move freely and have all her needs on one level! AND to top it all off...Gamma and Gampa will be a four wheeler ride away. This is what dreams are made of. 💓

Well guys...if you made it this far...sorry and thank you. We are wishing you all a very merry Christmas and an outstanding 2025. Try to remember along with me that life is but a whisper...it goes by all too fast...so why are we even here? What is life if not lived for the greater purpose he has set before us? The more I live, the more impossible it is for me to understand how some still can't see the Creator in his Creation! Life is so rich and so meaningful when the truth has set you free!

He's not only "the reason for the season", he's reason for all things. The reason for HOPE. Come, let us adore HIM. 

In love and gratitude,

Erin

It's a Kentucky kind of Christmas

    I'm doin' it. Gettin' 'er done. Writing the ol' Christmas blog. This time, though, I am sitting in a coffee shop in FLORENCE KENTUCKY. Weird. 

    

    A couple of months ago, we loaded up our 5 children, 3 canines, and 5 rabbits (ALMOST took a chicken too) into our Nissan NV, and pulled our trailer to our new home in Union, KY. The whole journey has been quite an undertaking, to say the least. It's difficult to truly wrap our heads around our new identities as Kentuckins. I guess the correct term for KY dwellers is actually "KentuckiAns", but I much prefer Eiley's version of the word, so we'll stick with "Kentuckins" for now...or "tuckins" if we're feeling less ambitious. 

    The decision to relocate our family did not come without heartache and presented its fair share of challenges and bumps in the road, but we are here, and we are relieved to have the physical journey behind us. As you can probably imagine, 5 kids, 3 dogs and 5 rabbits make a cross country journey rather...preposterous. Also, smelly. 

    WHY KENTUCKY?!? If I had a dime for every time we were asked this question...I'd put it all towards the tuition needed to send our kids to the new "Answers Academy" (https://answersacademy.org/) here, in Northern KY. "Answers Academy" (formerly "12 Stones Christian Academy") is one major reason we were drawn to the particular location we are in. For years now, we have intended to homeschool our kids for as long as I felt able, but this last summer, after our time visiting with the school and witnessing the enthusiastic passion for Biblical truth that seems to seep into every crevice of the students' learning experience....we were stoked. Our experiences visiting the Creation Museum and Ark Encounter have lit a metaphorical fire under our rears to IMMERSE ourselves and our children in the TRUTH of God's Word with more vigor and increased urgency. This life is SHORT ya'll...and we want to do our BEST to live for the one who granted us life in the first place. Brett and I both felt immense peace about our decision to uproot our lives in Washington state for the sole reason of providing our children with the experiences this place offers them. Not only will we have the opportunity, Lord willing, to send our children to a school that seems to go above and beyond all of our loftiest dreams in regards to arming our children with truth and answers in preparation for this absolutely bonkers world, the Answers ministry also provides a flood (see what I did there?😆) of educational workshops/seminars/conferences/employment opportunities for kids and adults alike that we all look forward to participating in. 

    

    Although the Answers ministry COULD be our only reason for moving, we have many more. We are currently a mere EIGHT hours from Johns Hopkins hospital. Most of you are well aware of the fact that for 12 years now, we have been making the trip, by car/motorhome/rental vehicle/trailer/hitch hiking(kidding) from WA to MD to see Emri's team of docs at Hopkins. Emri has had multiple spine/lung surgeries at Hopkins and will most likely need a heart operation in the future as well. WHAT a relief it is, to know that Emri's cardiologist, pulmonologist, ophthalmologist, orthopedist, and other experienced marfan professionals are so near. We will still be getting to know specialists at Cincy Children's to make sure they are familiar with her in the case of an emergency, but we are thrilled to be so close to the place that knows Emri's body best. 

    Aside from the two reasons stated above, and without getting too uptight/exasperated/irate/livid...I will say that Washington state has done an exceptional job of overstepping its boundaries in a wide variety of ways...particularly during covid. It is not an exaggeration to say that we no longer felt safe, free or welcome in our own state. I applaud you, WA, for fully mutilating the beautiful place we have called home for so many marvelous years. I commend you for sucking up and spitting out so many people who wanted to remain "home"...safe and free. Well shoot, I wasn't going to get emotional. 

    It would be a lie to say that there have not been tears shed and heads hung as we look back and see what we are leaving behind...most of our very dearest and warmest life moments and closest friendships have taken place nestled in the ever-green, mountainous, beauty/rain drenched regions of the PNW...and it IS absolutely heartbreaking to leave it all behind. We most definitely left pieces of ourselves in the state we have known and loved for so long and are still grieving the loss of a wonderful, wonderful church community and time with our precious blood family as well...but God has drawn us out and gently lead us on a new journey to a new land and we feel contentment and peace. Thank you, Lord. 

    Despite enduring all of the viruses KY has to offer in the first two months of living here, we are faring relatively well and really just reveling in all of the newness and soaking in all of the firsts. It's strange to know that Eiley and Boaz will never remember Washington. The older kids had me take lots of pictures of funny things they wanted to remember in WA...including roundabouts, Dairy Queen, road signs, a tree shaped like a dragon, etc...so I will be making a picture book for them to look at when they need a refresher of what their favorite roundabout looked like. You'll be happy to know, we've got a few pretty epic roundabouts quite near our new house as well...so yay. 

    

    We were immensely blessed by a month of help from Brett's parents as we moved into our new home. Bunk beds were built, leaves were raked and then raked again, spaces were organized, boxes unpacked, and kids were entertained! Yay for grandparents! The morning Brett's parents left, my parents showed up and surprised me! Although their stay was short, we packed it all in! So much organizing/cleaning/unpacking, the flu...in just a few days' time. THANK YOU to our dear parents for the time and effort, blood and sweat, tears and laughs. 

    Besides covering the whole "move across the country" shindig, I thought maybe I should do a little kid coverage...it's been a bit. 

Emri has had a heart check already in Cincy and her heart remains somewhat stable...valves are still moderately leaky, but her aorta HAS grown over the past year. We have sent everything off to Dr. Dietz and wait to hear how he feels on the matter because we still like him the best😁. Everything else in Emri's body seems to be somewhat cooperative. She can walk about the equivalent of once around a grocery store before needing her chair. Her sight continues to AMAZE me every day---she sees all of the birds, bugs and dirty windows! We now live 8 hours from a competent surgeon able to successfully lengthen her spinal rods 2-3 times a year (that wasn't a luxury we enjoyed in WA). Emri continues to show so much courage in the face of adversity...it sometimes puts me to shame. School comes easy for Emri and she follows in her fathers footsteps when it comes to math and drawing capabilities! She loves art, socializing (don't know where THAT came from), her sweet puppy-in-training, "Doc", playing with her sibs, and teriyaki chicken. Prayer requests for Emri are:

-Healing for her heart--God can do anything!

-WEIGHT GAIN--we are still around 50 lbs at 12 years old

-relief from and endurance during viral illnesses

    

    Abe. Oh Abe. We love him. Abe is our budding creation scientist and dinosaur connoisseur. Ask him anything dino related and you'll get all the facts and then some. He is a passionate and empathetic child and is a true and unashamed witness for the Lord and Biblical truth. His passion continually inspires me. He adores his siblings and is living in dreamland having unlimited access to all things Creation Museum/Ark. Abe enjoys school, writing funny stories, drawing/writing about dinosaurs, playing with the sibs, animals, witnessing to Eiley (he reads her Bible to her often), and anything outdoors. Quick, "funny" Abe story. Abe found one of our rabbits out of his pen before we left for KY. He told me he "just put it in with the brown one". The one he found was a male and "the brown one" was a female. We now have two really adorable, yet completely unintentional baby lops that we now have to try to find homes for in Kentucky in the middle of January...woohoo!! If any of our new KY friends are reading this...YOU WANT A RABBIT?!??

    Jaemin has been a Van Andel now for 7 years. It's hard to believe we ever had a Jaemin-less life. This kid is what I believe they refer to as a "firecracker"! I've tried to offer him money for a small fraction of his energy, but that transaction never occurred and he kept it ALL. He's the life of the party and enjoys every second of it. He too, enjoys all things dinosaurs, legendary wrestling matches with Brett and Abe (AND EILEY TOO), anything involving physical movement, and mom hugs. He's a brilliant student, but doesn't like the whole "sitting still" thing that school so often involves. He's a very sweet natured kid at heart, recently proven true by how many times he profusely thanked the dentist for pulling out a tooth that was giving him issues. 

    Where oh where to start with Eiley?!?? She's hilarious. She's always been hilarious. Pretty confident we knew she would be class clown already by month two. She doesn't allow the fact that she is 6 years behind the older kids stop her from being heavily involved in most aspects of their lives. "AND EILEY TOO", is an ever-present phrase in our home. To see that girl dive without hesitation into an all-boy wrestling pit, hair flying high and confidence unhindered...it's amusing for sure. Her strong will and lionhearted zest for life hold potential to be a passionate and bold witness for Christ, which is what I pray for her. 

    Our sweet Boaz. What would we do without Bo? Well, to be honest, we would probably sleep a little more😆! Our littlest man turned ONE already on November 21. Do NOT ask me how he is already one...I legitimately don't understand how it happened this fast. He's not quite walking, but doing his one-legged scoot like a boss and has begrudgingly popped 8.5 teeth already (he doesn't love it). I was hoping his tooth popping ambition might carry over to growing some hair on his head by now, but alas, I still have his nice, round, BALD head to rub and kiss if I'm needing a little stress relief. Boaz loves daddy/mommy snuggles, MILK, meal time, emptying kitchen drawers, eating questionable objects under the kitchen table, door stoppers, expressing himself with his eyebrows, music/dancing, glue sticks, and bath time. He lights up every day brighter than I could've imagined and he is immensely loved and more than adequately adored by all of his brothers and sisters. We'll keep him. 

    Well, I think that's a wrap! If you've made it this far, thank you for sticking it out! Our new home has space that has been previously used as an Airbnb, mostly for Ark/Creation Museum visitors as we are located directly in the middle of the two. We are currently working to re-open the Airbnb and hope to have it as a space to offer any to any of our family/friends that may want to come and visit! PLEASE come and visit!! We love visitors and feel so fortunate to be able to provide a space for people we love to come and be comfortable in our home! 

    Our Christmas season may look a little different this year, but the message remains the same. Our CREATOR GOD, our KING, the author of LIFE, sent his son to earth, in the flesh, to fulfill the mission he was given that we might have hope...and hope we now have! May you all know this hope. Merry Christmas friends!

"But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons."

"And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only 

begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth."

"He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God."

"Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!"

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

The things of 2021

    Merry/Happy _____________________(<enter nearest holiday)!!! Not sure when this will actually be published...but wanted to cover my bases. Let's just get into it, shall we? 

    We made a new person! By God's abundant grace we introduce you to...

    BOAZ JAMES VAN ANDEL (Bo, Bo-Jangles, Little Bo-Beepers (who lost his sheepers), Beepers, Bo-licious, Bobert, Bozart, Bop-tart, Bee-bop, Bo-boogies...the list goes on)

    Boaz is HERE and HEALTHY and GROWING like a Washington state weed. My pregnancy with Bo was my very best despite "momming" 4 others in the process! Although the pregnancy came with it's own set of unique challenges, I cannot help but ponder how seamlessly this pregnancy progressed in comparison to the previous 3. The one considerable bump in the road came around the 34 week mark when our family inevitably came down with a certain virus. (More on the subject of Emri/Rona coming in the next few paragraphs) C-vid can greatly affect the health of the placenta, especially when contracted during the third trimester of pregnancy, and because of this my wonderful midwives requested we monitor Bo with weekly non-stress tests and consider inducing early. One of my strongest and most bothersome symptoms during c-vid were the coughing fits that continually sent my body into these fun little delightful contraction fests. Praise the LORD, my body held out until Bo was a good 37 weeks and 3 days baked. November 21, 2021 we departed our home at the atrocious hour of 3AM and arrived at Special Delivery Birth Center...reasonably haggard yet overly eager to welcome our darling boy into this nutso world. Labor was...well, laborious....but probably the best one yet. The waters were broken at 8:30AM and little man officially arrived at 11:10AM! Every birth is extraordinary and miraculous and difficult to ever entirely process...a whole new soul thrust into the complicatedness that is this world, but fraught with potential to bring glory to our Creator and King. It's just really...really incredible. 

    Bo was born very quickly. The overly rapid exit caused Bo to retain a lot of excess fluid which consequently made the whole "breathing" thing extra tricky. Our wonderful, God-fearing midwives prayed aloud as they worked to get Bo breathing consistently on his own and at one point stopped and asked Brett to pray. About 20 seconds after Brett had finished praying, our sweet boy began to nurse and his tired little body assumed a more reassuring shade of pink rather than blue. Bo continued to have small grunting episodes accompanied by blue-ish lips until he managed to expel an impressive amount of fluid at 2AM the next morning. After the great fluid purge, Bo contentedly assumed the position of "new kid on the block" in our home. He is abundantly adored by all four older sibs, although I will readily confess that Eiley's love comes in waves (dramatic ones) and with certain conditions...we'll get there😄. Brett was able to take a good, healthy chunk of time away from work to hang at home and the Lord knew we needed it. We now embark on a new journey with constantly evolving routines/schedules, endeavoring to settle into a groove that works for us. 

    Because it's been a dismally long period of time since I have written a blog, I feel like a head-to-toe Emri tour may be appreciated by those of you who may occasionally wonder about such things. I will commence the tour with Emri's eyes. Emri can SEE. Emri's sight has perpetually been obscured by globular lenses that have parked themselves quite unabashedly in Emri's line of sight, causing her to see 180/20 in one eye and 120/20 in the other. In laymen's terms...quite legally blind. At her last ophthalmologist appointment at Hopkins, we received the good news that those silly balled-up lenses had finally dropped out of Emri's line of sight (something we had been hoping for) and that with help, Emri's vision could be corrected to 40/20. We were overjoyed at the prospect of Emri being able to see this well after so many years of horrendously poor eyesight. After being unable to successfully attain a strong enough pair of glasses, we resolved to give contacts an old fashioned try. After a skirmish of monumental proportions, the contacts were in place and we eagerly awaited the official report from Emri....she could easily read off the correct number of fingers that I was holding up for her a whole 15 feet away! It took a small while for Emri to understand that seeing "clearly" was how she was always meant to see. After 10 years of viewing the world through perpetually shifting globular lenses, Emri can now SEE. We are so immensely grateful for this. 

    Emri's mouth is about to undergo a major remodel. She will soon be going under at Seattle Children's in order to pull a number of teeth (baby and permanent) and will also be getting a pallet expander placed in order to widen her extremely high/small pallet. After all of that, it will be time for braces.     

Emri's spinal rods are holding steady and we were told that the next spine surgery would most likely be a final fusion...meaning no more rod replacements! 

    Emri's aorta continues to make small, incremental jumps in growth, but has, for the most part, remained stable as she, herself has grown as well. Her aorta is measuring anywhere from 3.7 to 3.9 mm. Emri's heart valves continue to leak, but remain in the "moderate" category. We continue to pray (please pray with us) for her heart to remain stable and that aorta/valve surgery can be put off for as long as possible. Or just pray for complete healing of her heart...because we know God is able, don't we?

    Emri continues to be primarily g-tube fed and is a total turtle when it comes to gaining weight. Weight gain has ALWAYS been a major struggle for Emri and we are continually surmising new and inventive ways to add calories to her diet. We have held strong at just under 50 lbs. for a while now and pray we can help her body continue to gain steadily. 

    Emri continues to walk with braces that support her feet/calves, but has become frustrated with some muscle regression stemming from her spine/lung surgeries two years ago. One of Emri's feet turns in pretty substantially when she walks and it has caused walking to become more painful, tiring and overall discouraging. We will be visiting Hopkins this spring and hope to have more insight into any available therapies/surgeries that may be able to help fix whatever is causing her foot to turn in so dramatically. Pray that this is something that can be improved on as it continues to be a major frustration in Emri's daily life. 

    As I mentioned previously, our family caught that one virus (you know, the ONE) in October. I was the first one to come down with symptoms and Emri was the last. In my hours/days/months worth of reading/researching/questioning everything c-vid, I FINALLY found a local health care provider that would work with me in preparing a "home pharmacy" so-to-speak in the event that Emri would test positive. We worked together with this provider to treat Emri prophylactically and also to collect the drugs/supplements we felt needed to be available to her if the time would come. Well...the time came. Along with body aches came Emri's positive test. The Lord led us to the right health care provider JUST in time to have the tools available to treat her. Although Emri didn't feel her best, she certainly came through the virus more unscathed than any other virus she has had for the past 5 years. It was truly unbelievable to see Emri fly through c-vid after all of the time and energy we have spent attempting to prepare for it. The rest of the family handled the virus very, very well. Eiley showcased some impressive snot rockets for a good solid week and really soaked in those empathy snuggles. The boys seemed to experience an absurd INCREASE in energy despite testing positive for the virus and Brett had a whole 24 hours of symptoms after taking the same "magic meds" (inquire within) that Emri was put on. We praise the Lord for His provision through our c-vid journey and are immensely grateful for those magnificent natural antibodies we can now depend upon!

    Besides all of THAT👆☝👆, our family has been SO BLESSED this year to have my mom jump into homeschooling the oldest three kids. I cannot EVEN tell you the sheer joy and relief it brings my heart to have someone so naturally gifted in teaching (I think I missed that gene) able to school my kids this year. While the kids and Gamma conquer school, I get to hang with the littles, the laundry, the dishes, the mop, the chickens, and occasionally Dora the Explorer. IT. IS. SO. GREAT.

    Well, I think I covered our year in a vague-ish, perhaps slightly incomplete nutshell. I have so much to say in my heart that delves deeper than the physical realm, but this may have to do for now. As we all well know, life is not as predictable as we once perceived it to be...but I dare say, realizing this is a good thing. Living out our lives while more constantly realizing our own fragility comes with a certain eager intentionality to really seek and truly rest in our Savior, yeah? 

        "God is our REFUGE and STRENGTH, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.

    There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High. God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns. The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.....

                                                        .....Be still and know that I am God."

    I fail every day in so many ways to live well for the Lord. But yet, because I am forgiven and loved so completely, I know these promises remain for me. Let's cling to these promises together as we walk (stumble) through the uncertain valleys. To HIM be the GLORY. 

                                            SO much love...until next time. ~Erin~

A Birfday blog

It's my birthday today and I asked my dear husband if I could spend a little time "away" to write a blog. My version of "away" turned out to be on my couch with noise cancelling head phones on while the rest of my family watches a movie in the same room. I could retreat to a less distraction oriented location, but alas, I don't like to miss out on stuff (especially on my birfday) and the intensity of the quiet is just too much to take sometimes...so this works.

I apologize to those of you who have been following our family so closely on facebook or the blog as we fumbled our way through the last few months of surgical festivities with Emri. I did, in fact, fall off the face of the earth when we finally arrived back home. By "falling off the face of the earth" I mean I crashed. Crashed head-on into the hard, cold wall of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual exhaustion. Although sweet relief and immeasurable thankfulness are most definitely a thing as we, clumsily at times, establish our new "normal" back here, at home, I struggle with the substantial weight of what just happened.

These past few months have brought about many firsts for me. Never, ever have I felt the fragility of Emri's life so near and so real. We have been through what feels like entire lifetimes of medical misery with our dear girl, and yet I've never felt quite so helpless as a mother or seen Emri quite so sick. I've never witnessed Emri's spirit so weak, face so pale, or body so frail. I've never felt my heart sink so painfully low, and I've never before heard my words of "comfort" sound so hollow or feel so miserably futile. My body has never suffered so much neglect as I spilled out all that I had to care for my incredibly sick child. I've never felt so weak, so tired, so desperate, so sad, or so weary. I've never contemplated so deeply, loved so entirely, or cried so violently.

I've also never been so thankful. I've never been so relieved to leave the hospital with my living, breathing, tired little girl. I've never hugged my children so long and so hard. I've never felt so much happy sweep over my body as my family reunited after the longest time apart. I've never had a more thankful Thanksgiving. I've never come to a deeper realization that without Christ, hope is truly lost. I've never clung to the sovereignty of God so tightly and I've never pleaded with God so passionately or thanked him so profoundly. I've never had to rely so heavily on the truths and promises of Scripture and I've never had more motivation to teach my children truth, to shine Christ to whoever I may cross paths with, and to pray earnestly that the story of hope that I share may be used to encourage the saved and to save the lost.

Reading the two paragraphs above, you might perceive how difficult it would be to answer the seemingly simple question of, "So, how are you doing?" The honest answer is complex, but easily broken down. When I am inside of myself, thinking my own thoughts, and ignoring what I know to be true, the answer is simply, "Well, I'm quite miserable, thank you for asking." OR, you may never get the opportunity to ask me that question because I am in hiding, attempting to figure out how I can escape any and every interaction with anyone ever again. When left to myself, my thoughts lead me so promptly to a dark place. A place I have allowed myself to go many times. A place where depression, anxiety, and hopelessness shroud truth and seem to swallow me whole. A place where an escape feels so awfully unattainable. But truth prevails. Truth ALWAYS prevails.

When my thoughts lead me to feel afraid, alone, or hopeless God says...

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. "

"Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. "

"It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. "

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. "

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."


I could go on and on and on...but let's end with MY FAVORITE VERSE EVER BECAUSE I NEED IT EVERY DAY...

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

I fail so often to rest in God and the peace he so freely offers me because I allow my heart to be deceived by the lies that the devil so desperately wants me to believe. But God's promises remain and I continually run back to them as I realize, once again, that I have not actively taken my thoughts captive and replaced the lies with truth. Every thought I have should be followed by questions. Is this thought based on truth? Does it line up with what God tells me? If not, it is not from God and not worth my time.

That's where I'm at right now. I'm coming out of an all-too-familiar dark place. A place I have gone far too often as I process the trauma of going through really hard things with a really sick kid. While held to the flame, I have no choice but to cling to hope. When released from the intense heat of the flame, my weariness leads me to become spiritually lazy which is no good at all. It's a vicious cycle that I hope to put to death as I continue down this path God has chosen for my life.

I sometimes feel guilty even talking about my own struggle when thinking about Emri and the unthinkable physical pain and suffering she has endured....but that is her story to tell, and I pray God uses her big, big story in big, big ways some day.

Since we have been home, Emri has ever-so-slowly been making progress. By making progress I mean things like sitting up for longer periods at a time without her face turning white, being off of pain meds for an entire week, knee walking a little each day without severe leg pain, desiring to eat small amounts by mouth (like half a tortilla) and wanting to play for a few minutes at a time with her siblings. Laying in a hospital bed for two months and enduring two major surgeries along with 3 additional chest tube placements was a really big deal for Emri. I imagine it would be a really big deal for anyone, but for Emri, with all of the "complicatedness" that is her body, you can maybe imagine how bonkers her body went after it all went down. She has just been so worn. So progress HAS been slow, but in just the last week Emri has walked holding on to the kitchen counter twice. It was beautiful and emotional and the whole family beamed with pride brighter than the sun as we watched her be all courageous and strong. I will try to post a progress video on facebook soon so that you all can beam too.

It's hard to remember life before all of the Baltimore fun, but one big, important, really marvelous thing happened about 10 months ago that I know I have not yet blogged about. We had another KID!!! What an INCREDIBLE GIFT this little nugget is to our family. Eiley Noelle Van Andel entered this world at 37 weeks and 6 days after a very, very, very long and arduous 9 months of pregnancy. Every pregnancy has been very difficult for me as I get SO sick and become really, very useless as a human being which is problematic when you are, in fact, a mother to three other children. You know what's funny though?? The second that sweet, beautiful little soul locked eyes with me, I wanted to do it all over again. The experience of becoming a mother to another soul is unreal and feels much too good to be true every singe time. I have had the unique privilege of becoming a mother through biological means and through adoption, and although becoming an insta-mother to a toddler presents different challenges, the euphoria is the same.

Eiley has been my most easy-going baby, which is really great, because she really hasn't had much of a choice in the matter. I had the privilege of nursing her until I had to leave her and the boys with Brett's parents as we embarked on our Baltimore journey with Emri. I had planned to continue nursing her when we returned home, but apparently big-time stress messes with milk supply. Eiley is now chunking up quite nicely on formula and continues to be the happiest baby there ever was. She's really a very funny baby and the funny part is that she seems to know when she is being funny, which we all think is funny. She is just recently mastering the infamous "fit"---which for now is a little bit hilarious if I'm being honest, as she throws herself backward in an attempt to alert me to the fact that she is indeed, displeased regarding her current life circumstances. I always wonder how babies come to the conclusion that flailing their little bodies all over the place communicates dissatisfaction...we may never know.




























The boys continue to eat and grow at an alarming rate and I feel as if Abe might be looking me in the eye much too soon for my liking. Abe turned 7 at the end of October and remains the most empathetic, charming little man. This whole surgery thing with Emri was hard on his little heart and was evidenced by the fact that every time we face-timed from the hospital, and he saw Emri hooked up to all the things, he had to look away from the screen. He also had to leave the hospital room every time Emri was in pain while he was in Baltimore with us. He has such a huge heart and can't stand to see those he loves struggling. He is my animal adoring clone and LOVES to learn ALL the things about animals and plants. He enjoys playing lego with Emri and Jaemin, animal/insect figurines, and also being ALL BOY with his brother.

Jaemin is our energizer bunny and keeps us on our tippy-toes always! He just turned 6 in November. He LOVES playing with baby Eiley and takes his role as big brother very seriously. It is funny for me to see a kid who doesn't EVER stop moving, pause as often as he does to love on his baby sister. School is not his favorite YET, but we are working on tuning in to his learning style and rolling with it. He is a smart little cookie, but patience and sitting still is not his strong suit! We are going to have to get a little creative to find some solutions for his fidgety little bum. Jaemin also enjoys playing lego with Emri and Abe, anything relating to ninjas or TMNT (kid's got some MOVES), and wrestling with his big brother.

Brett is busy catching up on work after two months away. We are so grateful that he has the opportunity to be his own boss, since our life is a little on the "insanely unpredictable" side. Brett has yet to advertise his services because he has been TOO BUSY to need to advertise. He thoroughly enjoys being an architect and is so thankful to be doing what he loves. 

We are still in the process of remodeling the old water tower on our property. We are turning the water tower into a 3 story tiny house in hopes to make it into a VRBO or Airbnb type of situation. I look forward to sharing the befores/afters of this project---it's been quite the undertaking and my brother-in-law Daniel has been doing an AMAZING job tackling this new project. 

I continue to homeschool Emri, Abe and Jaemin and have just recently felt like we are "back in the groove" so to speak. Yes, it's difficult to homeschool three different ages and care for a busy-bee baby, but I wouldn't want it any other way. I love having the opportunity to teach my children the important things in life like how to love each other like Christ loves us and the not-as-important things like how many squirrels there are in the tree if there are 11 branches with 3 squirrels in each branch. Every day is a new opportunity to raise these precious souls as God calls me to. There are days I fail wretchedly and want to send everyone to boarding school and drink coffee alone in my bedroom instead, but there are more days where I truly treasure the time I get to spend with my children and revel in the opportunity God has granted me to raise them up to Lord willing, become vessels for His good purposes. 

There you have it people. A birfday blog...written with love and thankfulness to all those who actually take the time to read it all. May 2020 bring even more growth, more love, more diligence, and maybe more babies (just kidding, I think).


Here are a few more pics of my dear children because I really like them (my children and the pictures).